


Heartbreaker

by Howling_Harpy



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Attempted Seduction, Bisexuality, Denial of Feelings, Friends to Lovers, Huddling For Warmth, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26665108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howling_Harpy/pseuds/Howling_Harpy
Summary: Floyd figured it's all just fun and games when he decided to try and get it on with a buddy, but Shifty turns out to be more than hard to get.
Relationships: Shifty Powers/Floyd Talbert
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	Heartbreaker

**Author's Note:**

> I tricked myself into writing this by wishing more content of this ship and making a post of tropes I like. This was sparked by accident, but I have worked pretty hard on this all week, and originally about half of this was written by hand. 
> 
> What can I say, I really like this dynamic! I like this ship that I sort of accidentally discovered, and hey, maybe someone else will board it too now that I'm sharing this baby with you. Have fun reading!
> 
> *
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** This is a work of fiction based on the HBO's drama series and the actors' portrayals in it. This has nothing to do with any real person depicted in the series, and means no disrespect.

It started because Shifty laughed at his joke aloud, and Floyd turned to that bubbly sound. He caught Shifty’s eye when he laughed a bit too hard, and when Floyd looked at him, he suddenly blushed and covered his mouth. They were passing the afternoon between drills at the canteen, Floyd, Smokey, McClung and Shifty, and the ordinary situation was quickly becoming extraordinary. 

Floyd tilted his head. Now that was an endearing sight, and very interesting. His interest was sparked in an instant, in that flippant way of his that had come with the war. What harm is a little fun, right? He wanted to know what that was about. Just like that an idea was sparked, a sudden urge and curiosity all wound up together.

Floyd smiled, and Shifty blushed even more, hiding behind his coffee mug. Next to him McClung seemed to think he was choking on his coffee and started to pound him on the back.

That blush made Floyd want to linger, and when Smokey and McClung grew bored after finishing their coffees and cigarettes and left, Floyd made no move to follow them.

Shifty was about to stand up, but when he saw that Floyd stayed seated he made a funny jerking motion like he was about to stand up but then didn’t. Floyd smiled, and Shifty blinked.

“You coming or not?” Smokey asked Floyd while gathering up his empty tin mug and crumbled up serviettes. 

“Nah, I think I’m going to stay for a while. You go ahead,” Floyd said with just a glance at his buddy before turning back to Shifty again. 

Smokey gave Floyd one of his looks that made it clear that he knew more than most, but then left him to it without a comment. 

Floyd slided on the bench to Smokey’s now free spot opposite of Shifty, leaned over and put his cheek on his hand and peered at Shifty with new eyes and a crooked smile. 

Shifty looked back, but not directly but with his head a bit bowed, his kind eyes blinking back at Floyd.

“Fancy spending some one-on-one time?” Floyd asked, opting for boldness. 

“Ain’t we already?” Shifty replied, eyes darting around before returning to Floyd. 

Floyd smiled wider, eager to get on with the game. “I suppose we are. Lucky me!” 

Shifty suckled on his lower lip briefly and fidgeted on his seat, restless but not making a move to stand up. “Well, I don’t rightly know, Tab. Seems pretty ordinary to me, you know?”

“Does it, now?” Floyd said back and didn’t believe it for a second, not with that persistent flush on Shifty’s cheeks. “I think this is pretty exceptional. How often do guys catch alone time in the army?” 

Shifty shrugged. “Not too often, I recon.” 

“Yeah,” Floyd agreed, nailing Shifty with his gaze. “Where do you suppose fellas who want to catch some alone time together go?”

The flush darkened on Shifty’s face, reminding Floyd that despite his coy manner he wasn’t born yesterday. 

“Well, I don’t know about that, Tab,” Shifty drawled, “right here is fine enough for me.”

Floyd smiled sweetly at that and understood. Dames preferred to dig their heels to the ground for a while too and stick to public places to guard their reputation, and he figured Shifty was like that too. Now that his curiosity had been invoked, he looked at Shifty with new eyes and likened him to a Southern Belle, just as sweet and proper even if tall and strong. Floyd let his eyes roam the young man opposite of him, his tan skin, nervously smiling lips and strong shoulders, slender but muscular build and thought ofthe way he knew he moved, light and skipping like a mountain deer with eyes to match. 

“Sure,” Floyd agreed, feigning innocence though he didn’t bother to hide his appreciation of the beauty before him. “Can’t complain about the company at least. Anywhere would be perfect like this.”

“That’s kind of you,” Shifty said, his voice a note quieter, and if Floyd had had any doubts that he was taken with him, they vanished at the sound of it. 

Really, he had noted the handsome fellows among their ranks before, but never had it occurred to Floyd that he might pick one of them up. It seemed reckless and possibly outright dangerous, but on the other hand if he was something it was bold, and he was having way too much fun to heed any risks. “Really, it’s a pity we have so little time to just be,” he continued, “I can imagine spending hours alone with you, just talking. You’re that kind of a guy.” 

Shifty gave him a flick of a look, almost startled, and Floyd just smiled and leaned more towards him. He meant it, after all, so why shouldn’t he show it? He would like something more than just talk eventually, and the mere thought in that direction made desire spark in his gut. He let it light up his eyes when he looked back at Shifty and delighted when those brown eyes obviously detected it and then averted. 

He was shy, Floyd realized and felt a tender twist in his chest, followed by excitement. It was going to be a fun game to play. If he wanted to do a homerun he’d have to pull off a real old-fashioned seduction, and if there was something Floyd Talbert loved more than a pretty face, it was a challenge. 

*

The next time Floyd was able to catch Shifty was one evening when most of the third platoon had passes and they sought a pub together in the nearby Dutch town. Floyd liked pubs in Europe, he thought it was wonderful to have a bar with a dart board and a pool table but also comfortable seats and food. 

Floyd had gone out with Smokey, Popeye, Alley and Shifty, and they were all rooming together at an inn in one room they shared to save money. That meant that only two of them got real beds and the rest would have to do with cots, but they didn’t intend to sleep much so they didn’t care. 

The Dutch still kept their lights out at night, but the pub they entered via a small entrance hall made of dark curtains was warm and bright inside. 

Floyd was instantly at home, and so were the others. They had all just gotten their pay plus some gambling winnings and intended to blow most of it tonight, and the selection at the bar was a testament to the efficiency of the Dutch black market and the resources of the barkeep. Shifty and Popeye went straight to the bar and ordered beer, while Floyd with Smokey and Alley went to scout for company.

The Dutch were remarkable people. Everyone seemed to love American soldiers and treated them like heroes and honoured guests, which was just fine for the boys. They joined a group of young locals who were mostly resistance fighters still wearing their orange banners with pride and got into the swing of the evening.

It was like every night here was a party to celebrate another day of liberty, and it was easy to forget all the terrible things behind them as well as the unknown terror still ahead when music was playing and a game of cards evolved into truth-telling and dares. 

A fiery beauty called Norah with long, straight hair and steely eyes held onto her money by wagering away her stockings, then her garter belt, and finally ten kisses. It was the last round that Floyd won with the highest full house, and with a grin and a wink sat back in his chair to welcome the jackpot of kisses. 

Norah was an excellent loser and openly pleased that it was Floyd who had won, fanning herself in exaggerated manner as she stood up and circled the table to get to him as her comrades, both men and women, whistled and egged her on. She swayed her hips like in a cabaret show and then plumped herself in Floyd’s lap.

He barely had time to wrap his arms around her waist before she dealt him his spoils. A round of applause sounded from her friends when she dived in to kiss him, and they were no chaste little pecks either but proper kisses, every single one of them. Floyd was dizzy by the time she was done with him and pulled back with a victorious grin. She wiped smeared lipstick from the corner of her mouth with the tip of her pinky finger, then stood up and returned to her side of the table.

Norah’s friend Tess handed her back her whiskey glass, which she gracefully accepted, took a sip and then dealt another round of cards.

Floyd was still beaming with delight and mimicked wiping sweat from his brow to Smokey on his left, who laughed and gave his shoulder a hearty shake.

“You lucky bastard,” he chuckled, and Floyd gave a “guilty as charged” type of a shrug and a smirk.

Then his eyes happened to his right, where Shifty was reluctantly sipping his favourite type of beer with an expression that was on the bitter side and avoided Floyd’s look when it happened to him.  
“Aww, Shift, don’t be jealous” Floyd cooed and threw an arm around his shoulders, “you’re plenty pretty too!”

He said it like a joke, and their new friends all laughed while Shifty turned red and wiggled out of his hold. 

“Knock it off, will you, Tab?” Shifty said and gently took Floyd’s arm and put it down. His gesture was firmer than it looked, and when he finished his beer, he excused himself.

He would have gotten away if Floyd hadn’t been so keen on him, and while everyone else seemed to assume he was getting another drink, Floyd saw him slipping through the curtains and out. 

Floyd saw his opportunity, folded his hand quickly and got up. He was out in a flash, and Shifty hadn’t gotten far either. He hurried after him, gaining on him and fell in step with him easily. It was thrilling to be alone with him after dark, even when Shifty threw him a chastising look.

“You shouldn’t follow me no more, Tab,” he warned and pushed his hands into his pockets. 

Floyd shrugged. “And why not?”

Shifty paid him a stern look, one that told him off for something Floyd’s should have realized himself. “People might get the wrong idea.”

“Or the right idea.”

Shifty took a sharp breath and looked away, hurrying his steps. Floyd kept up with him and sensed something winding up in the air between them.

“Why won’t you go and find a girl for company, Tab? Norah sure looked she took a fancy in you,” Shifty said without looking back at Floyd.

Floyd had already almost forgotten her. He was sure she’d had no trouble finding company that was not him if she wanted, and she wasn’t what he was in the mood for anyway. He shrugged again. “You sure looked like you did mind, so why’re you suddenly pushing me back to her?” he countered. 

Shifty threw Floyd an anxious look and bit his lip. He looked like he wanted to deny it, but that would have been lying and that was something Shifty wasn’t too good at. He never wanted to lie to a friend, not even in a situation like this where he might have needed to. The truth was unspeakable to him, but there was a tinge of red to his face that had nothing to do with beer, and in his eyes there was wary yearning that warmed Floyd inside out. 

He swayed closer to Shifty, pressed his shoulder against his and leaned closer, almost close enough to brush his lips against his ear and definitely close enough to see his skin breaking into goosebumps. “You look like you have an idea where I should spend my night, and it isn’t between her thighs,” he muttered in a low purr. 

Shifty blinked and shivered but didn’t allow himself to look away from Floyd. The gaze in his eyes was alert and on-guard, but that yearning was still there and made them look sweet like brown sugar. 

“I can see it in your eyes, Shift,” Floyd noted, “I can see what you want.”

“Oh, there ain’t nothing to see,” Shifty hurried to deny and averted Floyd’s gaze, “nothing at all, Tab.”

“You sure? ‘Cause I could have sworn that you looked jealous there, Shifty,” Floyd said. They were still walking, passing dark alleyways and crossing cobblestone streets, shoulder to shoulder and alone in the autumn darkness. Floyd leaned closer, this time enough for his breath to disturb Shifty’s hair. “You don’t need to be. Just a word or a gesture from you, and I’d drop everything to be here in your company. There’s a whole bunch of stuff I’d rather do with you than with any girl.” 

Shifty took an audible gasp of breath and then pressed his lips together in an anxiously tight expression. Floyd felt him shiver, but not pull away. “You have a wrong fella there, Tab! There’s no… Uh, I don’t think I rightly understand what you mean, and it’s better that you don’t explain either, okay?” Shifty said in a pretend chipper tone. 

There were no streetlights, but they had been outside long enough for Floyd to get used to dark and keep track of their surroundings, so he didn’t miss the prefect little alley they had passed on their way to the pub. It led uphill between two buildings in a tight curve, and it was where he promptly pushed Shifty and pressed him against the wall, away from prying eyes. 

Shifty went easily, maybe due to surprise, but when he found himself with his back against the wall and with Floyd blocking his way out, he pressed his hands flat against the wall and glanced left and right to see if they were safe and alone. When he was sure they were, he turned forward again and took a moment before he looked up to Floyd again.

Floyd was leaning on his elbows on both sides of Shifty, caging him in but not pressing up against him. For that he didn’t yet have the permission, and the surprise dive into the alley had already been a risky move so he didn’t dare to try his luck yet. Instead he met Shifty’s gaze without any mischief or pretences, just with honest, naked desire. 

Shifty looked back. His mouth was open just a little bit like he was surprised and about to speak but had forgotten about it, leaving his lips parted. He looked surprised too and somewhat rattled, but also like he was tempted. 

Oh, Floyd knew he was tempting him. He tilted his head a little, wet his lips to draw attention to them and then left them slightly open. “Do I?” he asked.

Shifty blinked in confusion and shook his head a little. “What?” he asked, watching Floyd watching him and leaning in an inch.

“Have the wrong fella?” Floyd finished, confronting multiple hidden things at once.

It seemed to overwhelm Shifty, who leaned his head against the smooth stonewall behind him. “Tab…”

“’Cause I don’t think I do. I have just the fella I want,” Floyd pressed on in a heated mutter, earnest and eager, the tension between them tasting almost as sweet as a kiss would. 

“Don’t,” Shifty whispered in a soft breath. 

Floyd was leaning in very slowly and searched his face, tilting his head this way and that, searching the right angle, and Shifty mirrored the slow sway of his movements, keeping him gently blocked. 

It wasn’t quit refusing, but still. Strangely Shifty was simultaneously feigning him off and inviting him in with his gaze that bounced between Floyd’s eyes and lips. He was blushing and slightly trembling like he was about to bounce at any moment, but still he didn’t. He was still there with him but didn’t allow him to fully lean in.

Floyd had stopped grinning. The slowly heating up intimacy of the moment and the way he could almost feel Shifty against him had turned him serious. He could almost taste the sweetness that was dangling in front of him like a ripe fruit he had charmed down within his reach.

“Don’t what?” he muttered, his eyes firmly on Shifty’s lips that he kept nervously licking. He had a mouth the colour of a peach, and probably just as sweet. 

“Tease me.”

“I won’t, if you let me stop.”

Shifty sighed and unease grew in his expression. He fidgeted on his feet like he wanted to dash away. “That ain’t funny, Tab.” 

“Yeah, I know, that’s because I mean it,” Floyd answered and pressed in just a bit, his hip cocking forward and his hand slipping lower on the wall to reach to brush Shifty’s hair by his ear.

Shifty bit his teeth into his lower lip, turning it white. “Tab…”

“Hmm?” Floyd asked, his thigh inching between Shifty’s knees, slowly but still startling enough to make him jump. 

Shifty took a deep breath and squirmed. “Tab – _ah_ – why? What are we doing? … _Why_?”

“Shh, just try it. One night, Shifty, come on, what harm can it do?”

‘One night’ tasted almost bittersweet to him since what Shifty was first and foremost was a friend, and he knew he’d continue seeing him even after the magic was done, but to Shifty it seemed to be like a splash of cold water.

Suddenly Shifty’s hands were on Floyd’s chest and there was nothing left of his weak-kneed yearning when he pushed Floyd back a good three steps.

“This is, uh, this is very wrong,” Shifty said, his voice suddenly louder and clearer as if he had snapped out of whatever he had been lulled into moments ago. He wouldn’t look directly at Floyd but kept staring past him down at the cobblestones. “I, I am sorry, I truly am. I gotta go. See you back at the inn, yeah?”

Then as quick as a hare in the woods, Shifty was gone, and Floyd stood by himself in the dark for a long time before deciding to go back to the pub and search more agreeable company for the night. 

*

Easy company was ordered forward to hold the area along their only supply route. They took position deep in the Dutch countryside of flat fields and meadows and green forests, and they found themselves often sleeping under the clear sky or at best in barns. 

After their pass, Shifty had acted like their detour in the alley had never happened, and Floyd couldn’t decide what he thought of it. He had thought he had been shot down at first, but Shifty wasn’t at all distant or cold towards him, just his usual friendly self. Floyd wondered if this was the complication that came from trying to seduce your friend, but then it occurred to him that Shifty wasn’t one to pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t, nor was he naïve. He must have known he was sending a message by not acting sufficiently cold towards Floyd, who was quickly coming to a conclusion that he had simply overstepped a boundary that night but not been shot down completely. 

It had been a blowback for sure, Floyd wasn’t going to lie to himself about that, but Shifty was truly an enigma and Floyd just didn’t like the idea of giving up. He had gotten a small taste and now wanted it all, and if one other thing had been made clear during their weekend leave, it was that no imitations or supplements satisfied him when he had gotten his eye on Shifty. 

It did occur to him that he ought to feel a bit ashamed of it. Shifty had scurried away after coming to his senses after all, and Floyd supposed that was the normal reaction. He just couldn’t remember why it was a bad thing to go for your own team, and even if he did, he had a feeling he would feel that it didn’t apply to him. He wasn’t doing anything more wrong than what he was doing with his rifle every day, so what was the fuss?

One slightly gloomy evening it was Floyd’s turn to scout a place for the platoon to stay at night, and as fate would have it, he got Shifty as his partner.

Floyd took comfort in the routine of the army. He had briefly wondered if things would be awkward, but advancing to the combat zone had wiped everything that had previously happened off his mind and they were simply brothers in arms again, all of them. He didn’t question it when they took off to the woods but was simply grateful for having such an excellent sniper and a true woodland creature watching his back. 

Everything was back to normal and they had more important things to do, so it was a real surprise when Shifty spoke up about it. “Did you have proper fun with your pass last time?” 

They were slowly walking through the woods, and Floyd’s thoughts mere a million miles from his last leave and so it took him a minute to catch on. “Huh? What about it?” 

Shifty just kept moving silently forward, stepping over roots without looking and not even rustling the dry leaves on the forest floor. “After you went back, I mean. I know it ain’t no business of mine, but I just thought I’d ask, you know?” 

Floyd thought back to that little alley and how fast Shifty had escaped him and how they hadn’t really spoken again before they had gotten back to base and the safety of constant crowd and duty. He couldn’t understand why he wanted to talk about that night now, but he had a feeling he would need to play along to know. “I had fun, yeah. Real fun, if you know what I mean,” he said and grinned to himself. 

There hadn’t been any signs of enemy activity but still they advanced slowly and spoke quietly. It was quiet in the woods, but soon they came to a clearing on the edge of several fields, and there was a barn. They stopped and stood still for a while and just watched and listened, Shifty as unmoving as if he were made of stone, but only a gentle breeze moved and made fallen leaves dance. 

Shifty gestured them on the move again, and they approached the barn.

It turned out empty, both of enemy and anything useful or edible. What it was, was dry and covered with a good roof, and big enough for a platoon. 

“Smokey sang your tale already,” Shifty said suddenly, his eyes raking the corners of the barn when they moved in opposite direction to clear the whole building.

“He did?” Floyd asked, peeking into a few empty pens in the back.

“Oh yeah. Made a poem and all, he did,” Shifty continued, then paused for a second. “There was a whole verse about that pretty dame you wooed. How she don’t even look at other fellas when she got you, and how you charm and woo like a proud stag at spring.” His mouth twitched in a smile that was gone almost immediately. “Pretty poetic, Smokey is. He really got the knack for it, don’t he?” 

“Yeah, he does,” Floyd agreed, but wasn’t focusing on the topic so much as he was on Shifty. He was trying to figure out what the emotion on his face was but couldn’t quite put his finger on it. 

“It was funny, though. How he sang the praises of that dame and only watched you pick her up. What’s with that?” Shifty mused.

Floyd shrugged. “He was just making our night sound wild for the fellas. Besides, he got lucky himself. There was no need to be jealous.”

“Jealous, hah,” Shifty repeated to himself and huffed a dry laugh. It was so uncharacteristic of him that suddenly Floyd recognized the feeling around him. It was frustration. 

Gears in Floyd’s mind turned quickly and a glimmer of hope sparked again. He had been wondering when he'd get another chance, and having Shifty approach the topic himself made his head spin. As hard to get as he was, there was once again a bait in the water and Floyd was eager to tug at it.

“I really like them, you know. Girls,” Shifty said suddenly. “I do.”

Floyd didn’t see the point of reassuring that and shrugged. “Yeah, me too.” 

Shifty spun to face him, frustration escalating into full-on anxiety. “Then why – !” he started but snapped his mouth shut when the words came out too loud. He lowered his eyes as well as his voice. “I just don’t rightly understand, that is.” 

“Understand what?”

“What you want. What you was doing when we… If you like – Just – why? Why me?” There was a desperation to his voice, and Floyd could imagine Shifty racking his brain over this for hours and hours and still coming up empty. 

Floyd hadn’t expected to be confronted so directly either, and the honest confusion in Shifty’s voice confused him in turn. But he was also flattered and overjoyed; Shifty had been thinking about him, hadn’t been able not to. The thought warmed Floyd from deep within, and he approached Shifty carefully. 

“What do girls have to do with any of this? Even if I like them, I can still like you, and I do. I really do, Shift,” Floyd said, talking casually but with a sincere note he knew would do the trick. 

“Uh-huh,” Shifty said, watching Floyd approach him. He was still holding his rifle in a ready position, but they had cleared the building and he was holding to it like a shy child would onto a teddy bear. Deadly sweetheart, he was. 

Floyd held his own rifle casually under his arm as he approached, but his focus was entirely on Shifty. “Did you think I was playing a joke on you?” he asked.

Shifty took a step back. Floyd was apparently getting too close for his comfort and he backed away, but lightly like taking dance steps. He shook his head, then stopped and seemed to rethink, then nodded. “I reckoned you were pulling some sort of a wild prank at first. Then I thought you were serious but still doing something rightly stupid and didn’t think that I might… I might…” 

He swallowed and backed himself into a corner, his back resting against the unpainted boards and swallowed like he couldn’t bring himself to finish this sentence. It looked like he was choking on the words, swallowing several times and his face turning red. 

“I saw it right away about you,” Floyd said, walking the spiral they had made and kept following Shifty slowly, “it was in your laugh and how you looked at me. I might not have your talent with sights, but I can see when someone’s sweet on me. And why wouldn’t I try you? We’ve known each other for two years, we’ve been through a lot together, you were the first one I found after I hit the ground in Normandy, and I’ve been at your side ever since. You feel it too, right? The bond?”

Shifty followed him with his gaze as he approached and let him get into his space again. His tense shoulders relaxed when Floyd got close, and his head thumped against the wall. Still he looked anxious, but there was also curiosity that had risen with his questions, and Floyd knew he’d have to play his cards right now. 

Shifty closed his eyes briefly and nodded. “Yeah, I feel it,” he muttered. 

“See? It comes naturally to us,” Floyd said and leaned closer until the side of his hip pressed against Shifty. “So why refuse it? You’re so handsome and sweet, and you’re my friend. I’d treat you so good, I’d show you such a good time that you’ll never want go back to girls, ‘cause you haven’t ever had a lover like me.”

Shifty’s blush deepened and he was worrying his lip with his teeth, but Floyd could hear his breathing picking up pace and saw him shuffling his feet in a way that was impatient instead of frightened. Floyd supported his other elbow on the wall and leaned in more, waiting.

Still, Shifty looked like he wanted to argue even though it was visibly paining him, and he lifted his head to tell Floyd off. “No, Tab, you gotta listen – “ he started but cut himself off abruptly, suddenly mute. 

“Yes? What is it?” Floyd asked, fake-innocent and tilted his head. 

When Shifty had been gazing on the floor, he had leaned in even closer, and when Shifty lifted his head he had found himself startlingly close. The effect was that he was suddenly flustered and tongue-tied, and if he had been sweet before, now he was downright adorable. Floyd brought his free hand to Shifty’s face, casually cupped his jaw and brushed his thumb on the lower lip and his open mouth.

“Really, what is it?” he asked softly, fingers curling under Shifty’s chin and coaxing him into the right angle.

Shifty was too caught off guard to resist and easily tilted his chin up and turned his head just a bit. Floyd smiled and rested his forehead against his, felt the tip of Shifty’s nose against his cheek and tasted his breath on his lips. They were slowly pressing together without even noticing, touching everywhere from knees to their faces, and the only thing that kept them from finally kissing was that neither one closed the last fraction of space to actually do it. Instead, they were breathing into each other’s mouths, and all that kept them decent was pretences. 

“Tab… Tab, this is…” Shifty whispered heatedly between them, his lips already brushing Floyd’s when he spoke, “this is wrong. We shouldn’t do this. We should stop, right now.” 

He sounded desperate but also reluctant, like he was saying it only because he felt he ought to, and Floyd didn’t move back an inch.

“Maybe so,” he admitted in a purr, “but do you want to stop?”

Shifty gave a sharp exhale and proved himself too honest once again. He shivered between Floyd and the wall, trapped but instead of trying to pry himself free simply grasping his captor by the front of his jacket, and with a pained little noise slowly shook his head. 

“Yeah, me neither,” Floyd said, gently petted Shifty’s face with his fingers before leaning in to fully kiss him.

Shifty whined in the back of his throat and shot up to his tiptoes, one hand squeezing Floyd’s jacket and the other slamming flat against the wall as if to support himself. Despite his shock he still kissed back, and triumph roared in Floyd’s chest. It was a proper kiss too, not forced or uncertain or chaste, and Floyd found he could give his all to match Shifty, who kissed him like he had been craving it too. 

His lips were chapped from the autumn wind, but Floyd wouldn’t have had it any other way.  
They weren’t soft, but they sure were warm when they pressed against his, and Shifty kissed him with tender hunger and let Floyd press him up against the wall. Floyd could feel Shifty trembling ever so slightly and clinging to him in a way that made his heart ache with the need to just hold him. 

It lasted for only a moment though. Shifty whimpered again and broke their kiss to gasp, then muttered, “Tab… Tab, this is – “ he was cut off by another kiss that muffled his words and derailed his train of thought.

He surrendered to the kiss like a swimmer to a wave and kissed breathlessly like he had no choice but to dive. Floyd felt the kiss turning harder and greedier too, like Shifty knew he was doing something forbidden but wanted to savour it in secret before he’d dash. When he finally broke back to the surface again, he dodged the next kiss. “Tab, you need to… You need to stop… Now.”

“Why?” Floyd groaned between them, lightheaded with kissing, the warmth and the scent of the other man.

Shifty was firmly pressed against the wall and felt perfect in Floyd’s arms, but he was bowing his head away from him, and all Floyd got were anxious puffs of breath on his neck. “We’re… We shouldn’t. We should… Get back already.”

“They can wait a little bit longer,” Floyd coaxed. 

But even if gentle, Shifty was still unwavering. The hand that had been so firmly knotted into the front of Floyd’s jacket and held on was now pushing him away. “No, they shouldn’t.”

Floyd let out a frustrated huff and willed the liquid heat that had been pooling inside him drain away. He took half a step back and watched how Shifty unwound when given space, his shoulders relaxing and slumping down the wall. Floyd gave his cheek an affectionate stroke. “Okay. But we can continue later.”

“No, no we can’t,” Shifty sighed and turned his head so that Floyd was forced to let go. The haze in his sugar-sweet eyes was clearing and it was replaced again with worry and something else that Floyd couldn’t name. Perhaps regret. “I like you, Tab. I really do. We’re good friends, and I don’t want to ruin it.”

That was a disappointment, Floyd was not going to deny that. He sighed, gave Shifty’s shoulder a friendly pat and stepped away for good.

“Okay.”

Shifty blinked in surprise. “Okay?” 

Floyd shrugged and fixed his hold on his rifle. “Yeah, okay. You don’t want it, it’s fine. Let’s forget about it.”

Shifty blinked at him again and opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but then decided against it. To Floyd he looked almost sad, but when Shifty turned his gaze back to him he had regained his usual serenity. 

“I recon we should get back. Lieutenant Winters don’t like waiting when he wants to tuck us in,” he said and then led the way out of the barn and back through the woods to where the third platoon was waiting for them.

The night was dark, quiet and very peaceful. The report on enemy activity was low that night, and third platoon wasn’t on guard duty. It wasn’t exactly warm in the barn, but shelter from the wind and dampness was enough. At least it wasn’t freezing or muddy inside. 

There was so much room that they got to choose where they set their bedrolls. They stuck mostly in clusters of three or four, seeking warmth from each other but also keeping distance when it was possible. There were plenty of comfortable, dry spots in the barn, and most spread the pile of hay in the corner on the floor to soften the ground under their bedrolls and protect against the chill. 

Floyd didn’t want to stay on the ground floor but had his eyes set on the hay loft. No one else had taken it yet because there was no ladder, but Floyd had spotted them too, only well hidden in one of the corners in the midst of other tools like rusty hoes and pitchforks. He waited until most had set up their sleeping bags before he went for the ladder, brought it out and set it by the loft. 

It wasn’t terrible high and he would still be able to get down quickly if needed, and it was nothing special except a private space above others. Floyd took his bedroll and his gear, hoisted all of it on his back and climbed the ladder up. 

There was no hay up on the loft, just hard wooden floor with the scarce remains of the last harvest, and Floyd set up his spot in the middle. It was bit of a selfish move, but there was plenty of good space for everyone, so he got away with it. Second platoon was keeping guard and everything else was already taken care of, so Floyd took off his boots, his jacket and loosened his suspenders, set his rifle within his reach and crawled into the sleeping bag.

He was just getting comfortable there when the ladder creaked and a soft voice asked: “Mind if I join you?” 

Floyd lifted his head and saw Shifty’s head poking just above the loft’s edge. Floyd was surprised to see him and for a moment just stared at his face and how he looked at him curiously, asking him so softly. 

Then Floyd recovered. “Make yourself comfortable,” he said and gestured at the empty floorspace.

“Many thanks,” Shifty said, then swung all his gear with one arm on the loft and climbed after himself. 

Floyd didn’t come out of his sleeping bag or question Shifty’s choice of lodgings, but still watched as he arranged his stuff and spread out his sleeping bag all the while not looking at Floyd, especially not when he put it right next to Floyd’s. 

It might have gotten chilly up there alone, Floyd thought as much and didn’t comment, just lay there in silence when Shifty unlaced his boots. 

Shifty didn’t look at Floyd the entire time, not even when he crawled into his sleeping bag and wrapped it tightly around himself. “Well, g’night then, Tab,” he said and pointedly turned to his side so that his back was towards Floyd.

“Night, Shifty,” he replied and tried to get some sleep.

It was a quiet night. There was always a creeping fear of being ambushed when sleeping on the field, but second platoon was guarding them all and there had been no signs of the enemy for a few days now, so though the atmosphere was tense it wasn’t enough to bar anyone from sleeping. 

The autumn winds blew harder at night and howled in the gaps in the walls of the barn. It may have been dry and sheltered them from possible rain, but the temperature dropped significantly. 

There were certain things that one did simply for survival, and so Floyd thought nothing of it when during hours of light sleep Shifty first rolled towards him and finally pressed against his back. Every part of his body that Shifty was touching grew warm quickly and Floyd sighed with contentment. 

“Tab? You awake?” came the softest call.

Floyd wasn’t really, but the voice came into his dream and made him reach out towards it.

“Tab?” the voice called again, and slowly Floyd opened his eyes in the darkness.

The voice was speaking into his nape, the breath tickling his hair, and slowly he realized the speaker was his bunking buddy who was keeping him warm like a lover. It was almost too sweet to lie there, curled up inside the sleeping bag and huddling for warmth when the chilly air was freezing the tip of his nose. 

“Yeah?” he mumbled into the darkness. 

He only became aware of Shifty’s arms around his waist when he squeezed him for a moment. It felt nice and Floyd revered in the feeling without the shame he sometimes sensed from some of the other guys and waited for Shifty to speak again. 

“Tab, you gonna go after a dame again when you get your next pass?” 

What an odd question. “Most likely, yeah.”

“Like you did last time.”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Well, I wanna ask you something, but I don’t rightly know how to put it,” Shifty said, his soft whisper thoughtful in an agonized sort of way. It was clear to Floyd that the other had been thinking about whatever he wanted to ask for a while and wouldn’t know peace if he didn’t get it out.

“Go ahead,” Floyd urged him. It was somehow easier to speak when they weren’t facing each other, even though arguably they were closer than that, basically lying in each other’s arms. Funny, the kind of situations army put a fellow in from time to time.

“Well, the trouble is, I don’t know if I can ask you what I’ve got on my mind,” Shifty said into his hair.

“Whatever it is, ask away. I won’t mind,” Floyd promised him.

“Hmm,” Shifty said and pressed his forehead into Floyd’s hair. He could feel his nose on his nape, just as cold as his probably was. “I suppose what I was wondering is, would you go for a dame again if I had gone with you?”

Now Floyd was confused. He didn’t mind the question in itself, but he couldn’t see the point in it. “Yeah, probably. Why?”

“Oh,” Shifty said flatly and was quiet for a while.

Floyd waited for him to continue, but when no words came, he continued: “What’s wrong? You’ve never had a problem with us guys having some fun with the dames before.”

Shifty hummed again and nuzzled Floyd’s hair, perhaps in an unconscious attempt to ease his nerves. “It’s not that. It’s all just good fun, I know, what we do when we get some time off. There ain’t nothing wrong with that, I recon, I mean, who knows if we’ll… Well.” He paused at that thought. “What I’m trying to say is, I don’t mind it. It’s just, I don’t think I want to be just a bit of fun myself, you know?”

“Um, I don’t think I do, Shift,” Floyd replied.

“It’s just that… That…” Shifty was speaking against his skin, his lips drawing the shapes of the sounds on the back of Floyd’s necks in a way that felt like a series of light kisses. He sighed. “I don’t know. I just really like you, Tab. I like you, and I don’t wanna do wrong by you.”

That was the first time that it occurred to Floyd that Shifty might actually have it bad for him. For _him_. For _real_. Floyd didn’t know how he felt about the thought or what he should think, which in itself was amusing to him. He had thought he had forgone some key morals about decency for the time being, but now he had to reconsider. The things Shifty was clearly trying to articulate were something Floyd had previously heard from girls, but even though he hadn’t had a problem trying to proposition a guy into his bed for a night, he had trouble connecting the purely romantic side to this context. 

Floyd didn’t have the first clue how to put any of that into words, into words that wouldn’t hurt or offend his friend no less, and he didn’t get the chance to try before Shifty continued.

“I’ve tried so hard to be rid of this side of me, you know?” he confessed. “I know it ain’t right, I know. I know I ought to be a decent man and be rightly sickened by them thoughts when they come, but it seems that no matter how much I repent, they don’t go nowhere.” 

“Shifty…”

“But they don’t hurt me or nothing either. I know they should, but they don’t, and then you’re… You’re just so damn nice and I could float every time you smile, and then you touched me like that and I – !” he was speaking faster and faster like he had to be rid of the words, all of them urgently whispered against Floyd’s skin with arms tightening around him. Shifty cut himself off and breathed for a minute like he was preparing to take one of his magnificent shots. His hold of Floyd loosened a bit too so that he was no longer squeezing. But he didn’t let go, snuggled a tiny bit closer if anything.

“Never have I let no man touch me,” he muttered. “Not anyone. But you tease me, Tab, and too damn much, if you ask me. And well, I suppose I wanted to be… indecent with you, but at the same time I would want to do it decently. If that makes a lick of sense.” 

It sort of did, but Floyd didn’t know what to say to that. He had dived into the deep end without knowing it, he figured, and now had no idea what to do about it. First of all, it seemed that he hadn’t charmed Shifty at all but simply stepped on a landmine of a well-hidden crush and had just about blown it into both of their faces. That was the kind of thing a good guy would take responsibility of, but Floyd wondered how. 

He didn’t know what to say, and so he simply lay there and let Shifty hold him and rest his lips on the back of his neck, then took the hands holding his middle into his own.

Shifty sighed when Floyd covered his hands with his and nuzzled into his hair. He held on and curled around him even tighter and sighed again, full of longing. 

Floyd couldn’t take it anymore and pushed Shifty away so that he could roll over onto his back. It was easy to move in Shifty’s hold that might have been tight but still so very gentle, and in a second Floyd found himself facing his vulnerable face and wide-open eyes. 

For a moment they just stared at each other in the dark. Then Floyd reached over with his hand and gently cradled the side of Shifty’s face, his palm light and fingers slow and tender as he caressed him. “I never meant to tease you,” he said. “But I meant it when I said that I would make it so good for you.”

“Because we’re friends?” Shifty asked, leaning into the hand petting him. 

“Yes,” Floyd replied and watched as Shifty closed his eyes and bowed his head. “Very special friends.” 

Shifty sighed again, deep and trembling, and Floyd felt so tender inside that he had to lean over that single inch of space between them and take his mouth in a kiss. It was nothing like the sudden passion from the afternoon but a slow, deliberate affair like a conversation of something so intimate it couldn’t be spoken. 

Shifty’s breath trembled and he crawled closer to Floyd, all the way into his sleeping bag that Floyd generously opened for him, and kept wiggling closer until Floyd took him by the hip and pulled him half on top of him and hooked a leg behind his knee, pulling his thighs apart. 

Shifty pulled back from the kiss and let out the smallest of whimpers. He was tense for a moment, eyes screwed shut and cheeks reddening so fast it could be seen in the dark, and Floyd let his hand run all the way down to palm the other man’s thigh and behind. 

Shifty hummed when he was touched and went boneless. He sighed and took Floyd’s face in both of his hands so that he could find his way into another kiss, and this one was full of that yearning that had made him shiver and jump earlier. He hummed against Floyd’s mouth, his mouth wet and hot and sweeter than Floyd could have imagined, and the kiss went on and on like it wanted to insist on those feelings that couldn’t be fully acknowledged or understood. 

Floyd couldn’t understand how Shifty was in such a twist over them. His heart beat hard and fast and he was shimmering with sparkling warmth all over, from every inch of skin down to his core, and it felt so good he couldn’t imagine who on their right mind would refuse it. 

He opened his mouth to swipe his tongue against Shifty’s lower lip and pushed inside just a little bit, enough to get a taste and pull a sharp gasp out of the other. It made Shifty tremble on him, and when Floyd sighed into the kiss and made it deeper, it made him buck against him. Oh, that was a beautiful feeling that set every nerve in Floyd alight. He let his hands roam more, pulled Shifty’s shirt from the trousers and put his hands on bare skin that was hot from their covers and mutual flame. 

He smoothed his palms up and down Shifty’s strong, lithe back before running down again, took him by the hips and circled carefully to the front. Shifty grabbed him by the shoulders as if to steady himself when Floyd pulled the buttons of his trousers open and broke the kiss. He was panting hard and pulled back from the kiss, pressing his face against the side of Floyd’s face instead.

“Tab…” he breathed into his ear, his voice thin and pained, “this is… this is… Oh, God, this is so so terribly – “ 

“Good? You feeling good, Shift?” Floyd whispered before he could finish what he was so desperately trying to say.

Shifty took in a deep breath and swallowed, then wrapped his arms around Floyd’s neck and hugged him. “Yeah, you… You feel good, Floyd. You feel good.”

“That’s my boy,” Floyd whispered, and Shifty hugged him tighter. Floyd smiled into the dark and turned to kiss him again. “That’s right. My boy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Remember, kudos and comments are love and fuel for us writers.
> 
> You can say hi to me [on Tumblr.](howling-harpy.tumblr.com/)


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